In the Middle of Summer
by moony391
Summary: Moonyverse. Lily and James decide on a name for their unborn child. Oneshot. MWPP at 20. Title taken from Panic at the Disco's "When The Day Met The Night."


**I woke up in the middle of the night with this little idea, so here it is. Yet another addition to the Moonyverse Panic at the Disco-centered oneshot series. This one is titled after "When The Day Met The Night." Please, enjoy!**

Something woke James Potter up in the middle of that summer night. He couldn't put a name to exactly what had roused him at first, seeing as the room was a disorienting pitch-black and there were few sounds in the house. It had been oddly silent ever since his mother had passed on about a month before; James pondered for a moment if that deafening silence had been what woke him.

The truth was revealed a moment later, when a nearly silent sniffle broke James's train of thought. Reaching for his wife, James found her side of the bed empty. Panicking, because his pregnant wife was apparently crying across the room, James reached out in the blackness for his glasses, though they did nothing to improve his vision in the darkness.

"Lily," James whispered into the blackness of their bedroom. "Lils, I have no idea what time it is, but I know that you're awake. What's the matter?" James propped himself up on his elbow, hoping he was facing in the direction of his wife.

"James, you love me, right?" Lily whispered. She sounded far away.

"Of course I do," James said feeling quite alarmed. That sort of question typically prefaced a long conversation that James did not feel like having at… whatever time it was. He sat up, pushing the duvet off of himself. "Would you mind putting a light on?"

Lily whispered inaudibly, and the room was filled with a warm yellow light. She sat in the rocking chair in the corner, set up for when the baby that her middle was swollen with was born. With her red hair covering her face and her legs pulled up as close to her chest as she could manage with her very pregnant body, Lily looked slightly childlike. James stood to kneel in front of her. "What's wrong, love?"

"I just don't understand how you could just put everything I've done behind you!" Lily sobbed, burying her face into the nightdress she wore. She sniffled a few times, wiping her eyes before looking up at James again. "I'm a horrible, awful person, and you're okay with that?"

James ran a hand through his hair; they had had this conversation before. Admittedly, Lily hadn't been eight months pregnant and crying at the time, but the conversation had happened. "No. I am not okay with you being a 'horrible, awful person' because you are anything but that." Knowing from prior experience that Lily was untouchable when she was upset, James folded his hands into his lap. "Honey, listen to me: you are an amazing, wonderful, loving person. I know that. I've always known that. So, you've made some mistakes… you're only human. We've all been there."

"Of course," Lily snorted. She folded her arms over her chest, her green eyes staring daggers into James. "You never slept with my best friend for a cheap thrill." Her tone seemed to carry some sort of accusation, though her husband was not nearly awake enough to fully decode what she could be accusing him of.

James bit his lip, closing his eyes as he mentally repeated his mantra: _She's pregnant, it's hormones, she's pregnant, it's hormones, she's pregnant, and it's hormones. _"You're right. I never slept with Snape." James, a man of good intentions, did not foresee his wife's response to that comment.

"Oh sure, throw that back in my face!" Lily cried, her voice muffled as her face was buried into her arms. "You know, he was nice enough before your lot started to taunt and tease him everyday!"

"I'm sorry," James said, backtracking. His attempt at humor had failed him. "That was awful of me to say." Thinking quickly, James trooped on. "But see Lily! There's my colossal mistake: I treated an _innocent_ kid terribly for six straight years! Do you think that makes me a bad person?" James gritted his teeth to push through that sentence; he had owned up the fact that he'd been a little cruel to Snivellous, but there were certain things that the little greasy cretin had deserved.

Lily sniffled. "Sometimes…" she said in a quiet voice.

James bit his tongue before allowing the words, "You're impossible" to actually leave his mouth. "Well, regardless of what you think of me, I love you and think that you are a quite stellar person, Lil." He stood, placing a finger under her chin to lift her face. Once they locked eyes (James was taken aback by how red hers were; she'd been up crying long before he'd woken), he kissed her forehead. Lily recoiled, but he remained unscathed from his physical encounter. "Will you tell me what's really wrong? Please?"

Lily shook her head, looking miserable.

"Will you tell somebody else?" James could hear the desperation leaking into his voice. "Your dad? Sirius? I can try to use the phone and call your sister…?"

"No." Lily's voice had taken on an angry edge. "I don't want to speak to _her_."

"Is_ that_ what this is all about?" James asked quietly. "Because, honestly, if it's about dinner last week, I can have words with that walrus for you."

"No!" Lily shrieked. "That's not what this is about! I don't care about Vernon! I can even handle the fact that Tuney _still _hates me! It's just…well…" Lily took a deep breath to keep her lower lip from trembling. "It's just… you never met my mother." Lily finished lamely. "It sounds stupid, but that's what I'm upset about."

"Oh, Lil," James whispered, wanting to hold her but seeing her flinch before he'd even raised his arms. He resumed kneeling in front of her. "I understand. Really, I do." He bit his lip, unsure of what else to say. If he attempted to relate this to his own experience, which to anyone who wasn't carrying his child would have made sense, James would be accused of being selfish. If he didn't make her talk, she'd find some other self-destructive way to let her pain out. "If you'd like, we can go downstairs? I'll make you some tea, we can keep talking…"

Lily nodded, feeling a little childish. She stood, slowly, and proceeded to waddle out of the room, James following close behind. He knew she hated it, but he hovered close as she descended the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief when she reached the bottom step. Flicking on the lights in the kitchen, Lily took a seat at the little table while James started the kettle.

"Does it ever bother you?" She asked suddenly. "Not being able to see in the dark, that is?" James knew this tactic well; Lily had been a professional at diverting the attention from her when she didn't want it. He knew it would upset her more if her called her on it, having tried to do so once and then nearly met the business end of a large frying pan. Taking a seat across from his wife, James shrugged.

"A little," He said, noncommittally. Truthfully, it drove him beyond insane, it kept him awake nights fearing how dangerous that handicap was, and it was mostly bothersome because it meant that eventually he'd be completely blind. However, as he was trying to keep Lily focused on her own issues tonight; he kept the answer neutral, hoping to quickly correct the derailment of their conversation.

With a whistle from the tea kettle, James stood to prepare the beverage for his wife. Returning the table with tea, specifically poured into one of Lily's favorite cups (a lilac one Petunia had given as a wedding gift… no one could accuse James of being ignorant of his wife's preferences in tea cups), he sat and waited. Lily would fill the silence soon enough.

"My Mum would have thought we were too young," Lily said, staring intently at her cup of tea. She sighed, running a hand through her hair and allowing it to fall in her face, covering her eyes. "To get married. Definitely to be having any children."

James smiled slightly. "If it helps, I can't say that I would have fought her on that one. We are marginally younger going into this than I could have foreseen. At least the children bit. As for marriage, I would bet my life that there have been many happy marriages that started at younger ages than us. But I would have respectfully agreed with your mother had she protested at all. We were young."

Lily smiled slightly, "We are young."

"Well, maybe you are," James teased, "Personally, I'm ninety-seven."

His wife rolled her eyes, still hidden behind a thick curtain of fiery hair. "She died of leukemia when I was in my third year at school. She had been sick on and off for about three years." Lily stopped, staring down into her tea again. "I was hardly around when she was in the hospital…Off at school, learning what Tuney called 'useless magic tricks' while my mother wasted away… I didn't think it was half as bad as it turned out to be."

"That's not your fault," James said, staring down at the table-top. "You were away at school. I doubt your mother would fault you for carrying on with your life as best you could." All of what Lily was describing was a far too familiar situation for James. Only, when his father had been ill in the hospital, James had known it was fatal. He'd had that one advantage from the start, though he'd spent most of his time in denial.

"Then, after she was gone… It was like I didn't feel it at first," Lily said. "I totally shut down for a year or so… I was just numb," She stirred her tea absently, but didn't drink it. James hadn't expected her to; she'd developed an aversion to tea since becoming pregnant, though it seemed that simply the sight of it calmed her. "I didn't snap out of it until a month or so after I started sleeping around…" Her faced tinged slightly pink as the words left her mouth. "Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about that?"

Another attempted derailment that James had to quell. In truth, it bothered him a little. Not only that she had treated herself with such utter disregard, but that she believed it was the only way she could feel anything. That, and James hadn't exactly approved of her bed-buddies. James sighed, "Not as much as you'd think considering how jealous I am." He grinned slightly; another little joke. James Potter, due to his ego that could never truly be squashed, was far from jealous… most days.

Lily wasn't really listening. "It all came to a head in Transfiguration that day in Fourth Year," Lily reminisced quietly. She knew James's deflection tactics as well as he knew her derailment tactics. She carried on, much quieter now. "You probably remember it. I lost it completely, and started crying right in the middle of class."

"I remember," James said softly. The memory of the day was not really pleasant. Lily has suddenly gone from taking notes to uncontrollable sobbing and crying. It was the most horrifying experience James had seen up until that point in his life, watching the girl in front of him just break so completely. "McGonagall had to escort you to the Hospital Wing, but they still couldn't calm you down." He shrugged. "I remember being really scared; I thought somebody had jinxed you at first."

Lily allowed the ghost of a smile to grace her features. "You were the one who brought Severus," She said, looking almost as if she could laugh. "Why did you do that?"

James shrugged. "As much as I hated him, I know that you needed him. He was what Sirius was to me; the guy you freak out to and vice versa." He shook his head. "He honestly thought it was an elaborate prank when I showed up in that Defense class, with a pass I might add, demanding he follow me to the Hospital Wing. I'm still shocked that I convinced him."

"Me too."

"Feeling any better?" James chanced the question; they'd been at this for what felt like ages, and his eyes were beginning to itch with fatigue.

Lily nodded, barely stifling a yawn. James looked up at the clock on the wall. "Lils, it's nearly four am. You should be in bed."

"So should you," Lily countered, crossing her arms. James frowned, and she stood up, slowly as always, and held her hand out for James to take. Once their hands clasped, Lily flicked out the light in the kitchen. "Come along, Batty. Time for you to use your sonar." James smiled wryly, and allowed himself to be lead along.

Up the dark stairwell, back into their darkened bedroom, Lily and James lay face to face in their bed, fingers interlaced of Lily's swollen belly. In the darkness, James asked, "Have you thought of any names?"

Lily sighed, the murmured, "Can I show you once it's light?"

They finally fell asleep just as dawn was breaking outside their window.

* * *

"Where, exactly, are you taking me?" James asked, as his wife gripped his arm tightly to Apparate them to her undisclosed location. "And are you sure it's safe for you to Apparating now? I mean we've only got a month to go."

"Yes, James, the Healers said it was fine," Lily said, mildly annoyed but mostly amused by his constant frantic worrying. "And for the last time, I am showing you my name idea."

"Why does that have to involve potentially dangerous travel?" James muttered. "Can't you just write it down? Or better yet, tell me?"

"No, it's better this way," Lily said, turning on her heel to take them away.

They arrived in a cemetery, brightly lit by the sun's rays. The grass was green, almost unnaturally so, and the perimeter was dotted with trees, blooming in the midsummer sun. The sky was golden, as the sun was preparing to set. Lily grasped James's hand and lead him to a small headstone shaded by one of the trees. It was plain, marble, and simply read: "Harriet Iris Evans" accompanied by a date of birth, and a date of death that fell roughly into James and Lily's third year of school.

"Is this-?" James asked, confusion puckering his brow. "But I thought-?"

"We buried half of her ashes," Lily explained quietly. "Because she would have wanted them buried. We kept the other half, because that's what kept us going."

"So, Harriet?" James prompted, quietly.

"Well, if that's alright with you," Lily admitted quietly. "If it's a boy, I'm sure you could come up with something better." She stared hard at the headstone, her eyes filling with tears. It was never easy for her to come here.

"Well, Harriet would be an awfully silly boy's name," James said, nodding. "Harry would probably be a much better fit."

"Really?" Lily said, looking up at James in wonder. "I just figured… your parents… Thank you."

James smiled. "You don't have to thank me," he shrugged. "We can name the next one after one of mine. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind." He gave Lily's hand a little squeeze, and bent to kiss her temple. She didn't back away. "I love you."

"I love you too," Lily whispered back. Taking a deep breath, and giving James a sheepish look, she knelt down beside the gravestone, and he took a seat beside her. "Mum… This is my husband James…"

* * *


End file.
